(Source:www.thyblackman.com)
Let me just simply apologise to our readers for not
posting anything on a regular basis. I hope his will be something of the past.
Besides, I think you will forgive me when you find out what I have in store for
you over the next few weeks.
This is very exciting and I hope that you'll just jump on the bandwagon and get excited with me. Or at least pretend to be. But seriously, I think this is really exciting. But more than just exciting, I hope you will find this introduction to the blog to be inspirational, not just for men, but for women as well, especially in the South African context.
It was in my late teens, my student years at Wits, that I developed what I shall call an awareness of the social ills scourging South Africa. And it was during this time that I started formulating what I thought my role in society would be. The year was 2003, to be exact.
You didn’t have to look hard to see that ours was an ailing society. The scourge was all over. Men in South Africa were just a broken species. Many black men, and I am one, were showing these symptoms in very stark displays. This brokenness manifested itself in many ways.
For me, this brokenness was epitomised when in late 2001, news came out that a 9 month old little girl, "Baby Tshepang”, had been brutally raped in the town of Upington, in the Northern Cape. Her mother’s boyfriend was charged for the brutal rape.
Over the last 15 years, South Africa, has, very unfortunately, become accustomed to similar reports of brutal sexual attacks on women and children. We have come to accept it as a way of life that, every day, we will open our newspapers and be greeted with news about the rape, sexual abuse of toddlers, teenagers, young women, you name it!! I mean, not even our grandmothers are safe from their own grandsons.
One day a friend of mine made a statement on Facebook that left me just sad. It was in 2013, news came out of the rape of yet another baby, again in the Northern Cape, but this time in town of Kimberley. This time the little victim was just 6 months old when she was allegedly raped by her uncle. By her uncle! A friend of mine, who was then just a brand new father of a baby girl, mentioned how unfortunately, he would never be comfortable leaving his daughter in the care of another man, in fear of having her fall prey into the hands of the perversity of men. Sadly, I shared the sentiments. Although, I am not a father, the thought makes me shudder. I just don’t know how I would react were I to find out that my god-daughter suffered that fate.
And it’s not just sexual abuse that makes ours an ailing society. The lack of present and involved fathers in the lives of many, many young people is a huge pandemic in our country, the effects of which can never be fully told. Our prisons are filled with inmates, many of whom were raised in fatherless homes. It's not difficult see the correlation.
Recently, the new leader of the Democratic Alliance (DA), the official opposition party in South Africa, Mmusi Maimane, held a “Town Hall” meeting on Tweeter, using the hashtag #AskMmusi. South Africans, being the hilarious bunch that we are, decided to use this opportunity to make light and poke fun at the whole point of the Town Hall meeting. Instead of asking and engaging the new leader about his vision for South Africa and the policies of his party, Maimane had to field a litany of questions which had absolutely nothing to do with his leadership of the party. No sooner had the Town Hall meeting started that questions like “why did the chicken cross the road?”, and “who let the dogs out?” were asked. He was also asked if black people would finally, under his leadership, get the air conditioner remote control.
By the end of the day, a hundred thousand tweets had been generated under that hashtag making it trend worldwide. Of course, the majority of the 100 000 tweets had nothing to do with Mmusi’s leadership. It was all about having fun at the expense of the young leader. But in the "mess" that was the Town Hall meeting, there was one Tweet that just caught my eye and attention. Although, it seemed to be light and written in jest like many others, it found a spot in my heart and I was painfully struck. The tweet simply read “Where is my dad? #AskMmusi”.
I obviously don’t know the person who sent that tweet, nor do I know their personal circumstances or why they sent it. At the risk of being too speculative, I'd say the tweet was cheekily making a point about the scourge of fatherlessness in our country by asking a question thousands, if not millions of South Africans, are asking themselves: "where is my father?" It's a loaded and painful question isn’t it? Many, and I mean MANY people, both young and old, have little knowledge of their paternity. And even if they do, very few have an existing relationship with their living fathers, let alone know their whereabouts.
Our problems are many. And they are huge.
But, (and this is a very big BUT), even in this maze of problems in which our country finds itself because of us, men, I believe there IS hope.
And this hope has always been there. And it is our responsibility to spread that hope. The thing is it’s very easy to be despondent and just go along with the wave of believing that ours is a country doomed to a future where men, especially black men, are irresponsible fathers, criminals or sexual savages.
But, no my friends. That’s not all that South Africa is. Even in this negativity, we are still surrounded by a huge throng of men who are great fathers, leaders and these are men who are doing great things in our country, albeit very silently. I simply refuse to allow society to paint South African men with one horrendous brush, parading us as savages who simply do not know what it means to be great fathers, uncles or caring lovers.
I mean, I think I was raised by a great father. And he wasn’t alone. I was surrounded by a community of fathers who cared for me, as they did for the next kid. And over the next few weeks, I will be bringing one of these men to this platform, and a few other great men I have come to know, operating in different spheres.
You will get to meet the man who raised me, my father. He has graciously agreed for me to interview him as we ponder on these societal and other personal issues. So I will not just be talking to him as a spiritual leader that he is, but as a father.
You will also get an opportunity to know and have an experience with an amazing young man who, at a young age, at a time when he was supposed to be "eating his youth", as it were, circumstances led him to single fatherhood, fathering kids who were not his.
We also have lined up, an amazing psychiatrist, a young black man (hope he doesn’t kill me for referring to him as a young man). With him, we will delve into the issue of male depression and how this is playing out in society. Many men live with depression, and this is a silent killer terrorizing our families and communities. You often wonder how a quiet, friendly man comes home and decides to pump bullets into the bodies of his wife and children. We have heard and read of many such stories.
We will also few other men from different walks of life will also be featured.
In a very interactive format, I will be interviewing these great souls, man-to-man, to get glimpses of their lives. You will get front row seats as we interview and get their thoughts on the state of manhood in South Africa. We will interrogate a wide variety of issues, from fatherhood to male depression, from men and relationships to integrity in the corporate world. We will leave no stone unturned.
I live for a day where the question “where is my dad?” is taboo. A world where no child ever wonders where their living father is. A world where men are no longer the villains we have come to believe they are. I live for the day when black men will be the epitome of excellence and integrity.
This is very exciting and I hope that you'll just jump on the bandwagon and get excited with me. Or at least pretend to be. But seriously, I think this is really exciting. But more than just exciting, I hope you will find this introduction to the blog to be inspirational, not just for men, but for women as well, especially in the South African context.
It was in my late teens, my student years at Wits, that I developed what I shall call an awareness of the social ills scourging South Africa. And it was during this time that I started formulating what I thought my role in society would be. The year was 2003, to be exact.
You didn’t have to look hard to see that ours was an ailing society. The scourge was all over. Men in South Africa were just a broken species. Many black men, and I am one, were showing these symptoms in very stark displays. This brokenness manifested itself in many ways.
For me, this brokenness was epitomised when in late 2001, news came out that a 9 month old little girl, "Baby Tshepang”, had been brutally raped in the town of Upington, in the Northern Cape. Her mother’s boyfriend was charged for the brutal rape.
Over the last 15 years, South Africa, has, very unfortunately, become accustomed to similar reports of brutal sexual attacks on women and children. We have come to accept it as a way of life that, every day, we will open our newspapers and be greeted with news about the rape, sexual abuse of toddlers, teenagers, young women, you name it!! I mean, not even our grandmothers are safe from their own grandsons.
One day a friend of mine made a statement on Facebook that left me just sad. It was in 2013, news came out of the rape of yet another baby, again in the Northern Cape, but this time in town of Kimberley. This time the little victim was just 6 months old when she was allegedly raped by her uncle. By her uncle! A friend of mine, who was then just a brand new father of a baby girl, mentioned how unfortunately, he would never be comfortable leaving his daughter in the care of another man, in fear of having her fall prey into the hands of the perversity of men. Sadly, I shared the sentiments. Although, I am not a father, the thought makes me shudder. I just don’t know how I would react were I to find out that my god-daughter suffered that fate.
And it’s not just sexual abuse that makes ours an ailing society. The lack of present and involved fathers in the lives of many, many young people is a huge pandemic in our country, the effects of which can never be fully told. Our prisons are filled with inmates, many of whom were raised in fatherless homes. It's not difficult see the correlation.
Recently, the new leader of the Democratic Alliance (DA), the official opposition party in South Africa, Mmusi Maimane, held a “Town Hall” meeting on Tweeter, using the hashtag #AskMmusi. South Africans, being the hilarious bunch that we are, decided to use this opportunity to make light and poke fun at the whole point of the Town Hall meeting. Instead of asking and engaging the new leader about his vision for South Africa and the policies of his party, Maimane had to field a litany of questions which had absolutely nothing to do with his leadership of the party. No sooner had the Town Hall meeting started that questions like “why did the chicken cross the road?”, and “who let the dogs out?” were asked. He was also asked if black people would finally, under his leadership, get the air conditioner remote control.
By the end of the day, a hundred thousand tweets had been generated under that hashtag making it trend worldwide. Of course, the majority of the 100 000 tweets had nothing to do with Mmusi’s leadership. It was all about having fun at the expense of the young leader. But in the "mess" that was the Town Hall meeting, there was one Tweet that just caught my eye and attention. Although, it seemed to be light and written in jest like many others, it found a spot in my heart and I was painfully struck. The tweet simply read “Where is my dad? #AskMmusi”.
I obviously don’t know the person who sent that tweet, nor do I know their personal circumstances or why they sent it. At the risk of being too speculative, I'd say the tweet was cheekily making a point about the scourge of fatherlessness in our country by asking a question thousands, if not millions of South Africans, are asking themselves: "where is my father?" It's a loaded and painful question isn’t it? Many, and I mean MANY people, both young and old, have little knowledge of their paternity. And even if they do, very few have an existing relationship with their living fathers, let alone know their whereabouts.
Our problems are many. And they are huge.
But, (and this is a very big BUT), even in this maze of problems in which our country finds itself because of us, men, I believe there IS hope.
And this hope has always been there. And it is our responsibility to spread that hope. The thing is it’s very easy to be despondent and just go along with the wave of believing that ours is a country doomed to a future where men, especially black men, are irresponsible fathers, criminals or sexual savages.
But, no my friends. That’s not all that South Africa is. Even in this negativity, we are still surrounded by a huge throng of men who are great fathers, leaders and these are men who are doing great things in our country, albeit very silently. I simply refuse to allow society to paint South African men with one horrendous brush, parading us as savages who simply do not know what it means to be great fathers, uncles or caring lovers.
I mean, I think I was raised by a great father. And he wasn’t alone. I was surrounded by a community of fathers who cared for me, as they did for the next kid. And over the next few weeks, I will be bringing one of these men to this platform, and a few other great men I have come to know, operating in different spheres.
You will get to meet the man who raised me, my father. He has graciously agreed for me to interview him as we ponder on these societal and other personal issues. So I will not just be talking to him as a spiritual leader that he is, but as a father.
You will also get an opportunity to know and have an experience with an amazing young man who, at a young age, at a time when he was supposed to be "eating his youth", as it were, circumstances led him to single fatherhood, fathering kids who were not his.
We also have lined up, an amazing psychiatrist, a young black man (hope he doesn’t kill me for referring to him as a young man). With him, we will delve into the issue of male depression and how this is playing out in society. Many men live with depression, and this is a silent killer terrorizing our families and communities. You often wonder how a quiet, friendly man comes home and decides to pump bullets into the bodies of his wife and children. We have heard and read of many such stories.
We will also few other men from different walks of life will also be featured.
In a very interactive format, I will be interviewing these great souls, man-to-man, to get glimpses of their lives. You will get front row seats as we interview and get their thoughts on the state of manhood in South Africa. We will interrogate a wide variety of issues, from fatherhood to male depression, from men and relationships to integrity in the corporate world. We will leave no stone unturned.
I live for a day where the question “where is my dad?” is taboo. A world where no child ever wonders where their living father is. A world where men are no longer the villains we have come to believe they are. I live for the day when black men will be the epitome of excellence and integrity.
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